“Each man’s [woman’s and child’s] death diminishes me,
For I am involved in mankind.
Therefore, send not to know
For whom the bell tolls,
It tolls for thee.” John Donne, “For Whom the Bell Tolls”
Today, May 7th, is the 108th anniversary of the sinking of the Lusitania in 1915, torpedoed by a German U-boat in waters off the coast of Ireland (Queensland, now named Cobh of County Cork). One thousand, one hundred and ninety-five passengers and crew died that day. Among those that died was my great-grandfather, his adult son and grandson. His daughter (one of 763 survivors) survived. My Aunt Chris was only 16 years old at that time. She identified her Dad’s body, but her brother’s and nephew’s bodies were not found. My great-grandfather was buried in a mass grave in Queensland.
It was always rumored that the Lusitania carried illegal munitions from the US to Great Britain for the WWI fight against Germany. In the 1980’s divers discovered that indeed there was munitions on board the Lusitania. My Aunt Chris who was in her cabin, when the torpedo hit, said the hit seemed mild, a thud. But shortly after the torpedo hit, there was a huge explosion. The story of my Aunt’s survival was told and retold, when I was a child. The anger and sadness passes from one generation to the next generation.
War brings death and destruction to so many innocent people. As the war rages on in the Ukraine, it seems that humanity refuses to figure out how to live in peace. I live in a country that has always been on war-time footing. Billions of dollars goes to direct wars or proxy wars, and spending on making peaceful communities thrive is not financially supported. We are the Greek Spartans, our culture lives to fight. Guns first, negotiate second or never. It is a difficult society to live in, if you are a woman or child or baby. Let the babies cry it out; toughen them up for the future of more wars, of a society without compassion or concern. Put the children in daycare, work for next to nothing, and have no time left for relationships. Schools and malls become the slaughterhouse of enraged young white males. Violence like a plague of genetically engineered, mutant bacteria grows exponentially unleashing more violence.
Government leaders view women and children as an albatross around their necks. Neither are allowed bodily autonomy, used and thrown out by the privileged. How did Jeffrey Epstein’s game of sexually trafficking under-aged children survive for so long? How many well-known wealthy people have been ensnared by his blackmail and financial games? We live in a sick society.
I remember as a child, my parents harboring a next-door neighbor and her 6 kids from her abusive husband. I was probably 4 or 5 at the time, so I didn’t really understand what was going on. Later I lived in a neighborhood in which the man across the street battered his wife regularly. Every neighbor called the police at one time or another, it didn’t do any good. They had 3 kids. When she finally left him, she was executed by him in front of her 3 kids. My husband at the time called the police, when another neighbor called for help. She was being strangled by her boyfriend, when the police broke down the door.
Does this behavior impact breastfeeding? Yes, research has shown that women who are abused by their partners (usually male partners) are more likely to not breastfeed. When I was employed by the WIC Program, we had electric breast pumps that we loaned out to moms who had premature babies. I remember trying to get a hold of one of the moms who had one of our pumps. She was very apologetic and told me her boyfriend had damaged the pump. She did return it but the pump was totally unusable. I talked about this situation with a Healthy Start nurse who told me that a study she had read that a pregnant mom who experienced domestic abuse had double the risk of preterm labor. https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2016/03/160309083114.htm
https://www.domesticshelters.org/articles/identifying-abuse/what-is-physical-abuse
Over the many decades of my life, I think that at this point in time most people would spurn violence against people. Male violence against women and children is an unfair match. Most males are bigger and stronger than women and children. Control is the issue. But control or power over others means very little because respect is the issue. Control and power over someone else, dissolves respect. Freedom is what is desired, and it only grows with respect not violence. “For whom the bell tolls, it tolls for thee.”
©2023 Valerie W. McClain
